As the story typically goes, there are two types of men.
“Alpha” males are those at the top of the social status hierarchy. They have greater access to power, money, and mates, which they gain through physical prowess, intimidation, and domination. Alphas are typically described as the “real men.” In contrast are the “Beta” males: the weak, submissive, subordinate guys who are low status, and only get access to mates once women decide to settle down and go searching for a “nice guy.”
This distinction, which is often based on observations among other social animals (such as chimpanzees and wolves) paints a very black and white picture of masculinity. Not only does it greatly simplify the multi-dimensionality of masculinity, and grossly underestimate what a man is capable of becoming, but it also doesn’t even get at the heart of what is really attractive to women.
As the expression goes, when all you have is a hammer, all you see are nails. When we impose just two categories of male on the world, we unnecessarily mislead young men into acting in certain predefined ways that aren’t actually conducive to attracting and sustaining healthy and enjoyable relationships with women, or finding success in other areas of life. So it’s really worth examining the link between so-called “alpha” behaviors (such as dominance) and attractiveness, respect, and status.
but why society wants to end ALPHA MALE ?
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Who is an Alpha Male
The term alpha male refers to a dominant man, i.e., a man that assumes a dominant role in social or professional situations. This term has been in use since the 20th century and originated from descriptions of a dominance hierarchy in animals. Alpha males are men at the top of the social hierarchy. They are men who take charge no matter what the situation. Moreover, through their physical prowess and dominant traits, they have access to money, power, and partners. In addition, these men are traditionally seen as ‘real men.’
Alpha males are generally contrasted with beta males, who are often thought to be submissive and weak. Beta males tend to avoid conflict, but they are typically seen as ‘nice guys’ — stable, pleasant, and dependent. Sometimes, people use the term alpha male to refer to dominating men who are bullies, but this quality is not an ideal trait.
Nice guy versus nice person
I’ve been thinking about the future and about my YouTube channel. The alphas, the loudest, the most aggressive, or the dominant aren’t going to win in life. It’s not going to be the awesomely sexy or rich. It’s going to be people that are nice and kind.
The difference between a nice guy and a nice person is that a nice guy does things to get something. He’s sneaky. He’s nice to get something from other people, which is manipulative. But a genuinely nice person is somebody who is kind and generous. These nice people help others and want to see others succeed. They’re giving not out of getting something in return but just out of the goodness of their heart.
Polarization of society
The polarization of society and men pisses me off. You’re good or bad, alpha or beta, with or against us. We can’t disagree anymore without somebody getting angry. In the past, you could agree to disagree. But currently, society is so insane that if you differ in opinion, you have to hate them. The other aspect that is insane is trying to put somebody in a nice little box. You’re either this, or you’re that. And if you’re this, you’re definitely not that. The truth is there’s a gray area. The majority of us land somewhere in the middle.
Some people offer extreme views, and they will get the most attention. They’ll have a following because some men have lost the ability to think abstractly, critically, and objectively. They hear this rich and/or handsome person and think that’s what success looks like. The truth is that what you see on social media is not success. Success is actually about feeling good about yourself and being the best person you can be. Not everybody is hardwired to think that success means money for material possessions.
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Taking money out of the equation
I’ve been broke, and I have been not broke. Being not broke is better than being broke because of what it does to you mentally. When you’re super broke, you worry about how you will pay your bills or put gas in your car. That worry occupies much of your thinking and bandwidth. When you take money out of the equation, you suddenly have more brain power to use on more productive things and make yourself a better person.
$5,000 was the amount when my life started to get better because I wasn’t thinking and worrying about money. More money than that didn’t exponentially make me happier. Sure, buying a nice car is fun for a second, but that fun goes away. I’m not saying that having or wanting nice things is bad or negative. But, when you base your perception of success on material possessions or by comparing yourself to some dude that you don’t even know on social media, it’s a recipe for disaster.
Perceptions of success
Men can feel a bit beaten down because they think they haven’t achieved what they are supposed to achieve, be, or have. It’s not about alpha or beta or being toxic or not toxic. It’s about being the best person you can be. The number one thing that has made me feel like I am successful is helping others and being a man of intention and character.
Throughout your life, your definition of what success is will likely change. But helping other people and giving without expectation is a gift that you’re giving to yourself. You’re not going to get anything physical in return. But emotionally and mentally, your soul will feel amazing.
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