Older men have always been and will always be fascinating to women. That’s a fact there’s no running away from, boys. Of course, we generalize here, and it is possible to find idiots in the older age group too. Likewise, it is also possible to find wise old souls trapped in younger bodies.
You think you do everything right when it comes to wooing women — you manage to look presentable, you crack witty one-liners (stolen from Oscar Wilde’s quotes), you criticize Honey Singh just the right amount, and make the right noises when she speaks. But somehow every girl you like ends up picking your senior instead of you. Pay heed and you might be able to grasp where the problem lies.
On the other side, are you a young woman who finds herself getting into relationships with older men?
Do your friends or family comment on the fact you always seem to date men from an older age group and constantly ask you why you never date anyone your own age?
You might be asking yourself these same questions now you’ve noticed the pattern in your behavior.
We can’t help who we find attractive, but understanding why you’re attracted to men of a certain age might also help you better understand yourself.
There’s a lot of negative assumptions around the idea of people dating outside their age groups. Younger women who date older men are called ‘Gold Diggers,’ with people assuming that they are only with an older man for his money. Older men dating younger women are labeled as ‘Cradle Snatchers’ or seen as lotharios because they aren’t settling with someone more mature and closer to their own age.
There’s nothing wrong with being in a relationship with a person who isn’t the same age as you. People should be allowed to date and love whoever makes them happy, regardless of what society expects from us.
You can’t always explain why you love who you love, and you shouldn’t feel that you have to. But if you’re still curious about why you gravitate towards older men the way that you do, keep reading to see if any of the below sounds familiar.
Here are 10 reasons why women go for older men.
1. They Don’t Play Mind Games
Now this is not to say they are boring. They can be witty and interesting as hell. Just that their idea of fun does not include sitting in front of their phone and not picking up their woman’s calls.
2. They Have Old-World Charm
Not many women fancy the idea of hearing a “Heyyy whaddupp babesss” on their first date. Whether it is pulling chairs, getting flowers, or simply giving a peck on the cheek instead of shoving your tongue down her throat, nothing melts a woman’s heart more than keeping things old school.
3. They Know How To Pleasure A Woman In Bed
Hands down, older men are way better in bed. They know what women want, and know their bodies as well as they know their beers. They have seen much variety, and definitely more than just porn. The delusions created by porn have been shattered long ago, and they are as real in bed as it can get.
4. They Are Smarter And Wiser
With all those years in their system, they have to got to be smarter than their younger counterparts busy guzzling pint after pint of beer. Let’s face it, boys, older men are wiser and more mature. People are silly when they are young. And women don’t like waiting for the boys to grow up.
5. They Don’t Try To Change A Woman
While everyone likes a stylish and pretty woman, older men don’t beat themselves too much over a girl’s nail polish or that single strand of white hair. They are more concerned with what lies inside, and are more accepting of a woman’s imperfections. Unlike younger boys, they don’t attempt to change the woman they fall in love with. They are not judgmental, period.
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6. They Can Take Charge
Older men often hold an image of authority in a woman’s mind. Whether it’s deciding which place to eat in, or booking that holiday package, they know when to take charge, and do it without being overbearing. Now it is a truth universally acknowledged that women tend to date daddy figures. Somebody who reminds them of their fathers, and assures them (if only subconsciously) of a protected and safe environment. The unsaid promise that they will be there in times of trouble is enough to make a woman’s heart melt for them.
7. They Can Hold An Interesting Conversation
The complimentary trait that comes with more wisdom is the ability to hold a interesting conversation for more than 30 minutes. And the conversation doesn’t necessarily have to have sex in it for it to be interesting.
8. They Are Well Settled In Their Careers
The older men are well established in their careers; they are financially more stable, and the promise of a calmer life is something no woman can say to. It might come across as shallow, but women looking to settle down often tend to go for the nice guy with a stable job and a house.
9. They Are Gentlemen And Treat Women Better
The one major difference between a man and a boy is the way he treats the women in his life. Older men have been around for long, and understand women better. They are more sensitive towards the feelings and needs of a woman. By now, they know the perfect responses to questions like “Honey, do I look fat?” or “Baby, where are we heading?”
10. They Are Not Hell Bent On Scoring Chicks
Older men are more secure in their skin. They have been there, done that. They have picked up girls in bars; they have made out with their girlfriends secretly in cars. The world is no longer their oyster. They don’t need to brag to their guy friends about the chicks they have bedded. They just want to spend a calm evening with their woman. And nothing is more comforting for a woman than a guy who has eyes only for her.
For Young Women, You crave a stability you never had.
Older men can often symbolize the ideal of a stable lifestyle. Whether it’s the fact that an older man is more likely to be settled in his career and have his finances in a comfortable place, or that he emanates a father-like sense of protection and certainty, he gives the aurora of someone who has his life together.
If you didn’t have a stable or loving childhood, or have struggled with your finances or career to get to the point you are now, finding a partner who can offer you that sense of certainty and stability would be incredibly attractive to you.
Compared to younger men who are still figuring out what they want from life, an older man who knows what he wants and has set himself up in life might look like the safer and more appealing option in terms of a serious relationship.
His job, his home, and his lifestyle are all secure, and by being with him, you’d no longer have the fear that everything could fall apart in a second.
You know where you stand with him and there’s comfort in the knowledge that you’d have a stable lifestyle. There may be less room for spontaneity or change, but maybe you’ve had enough of that in your life already and what you look for most in a partner is someone you can count on to be utterly reliable and steadfast.
As a younger woman, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be with someone who can offer you a peaceful life. You may know exactly how the rest of your life will map out with him, each day much like the next, but for you, that could be exactly what you’ve been missing.
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Or, You’ve got ‘daddy issues.’
When we talk about daddy issues, this doesn’t have to mean that you’ve had a life-altering, damaging relationship with your father.
In fact, ‘issues’ might be the wrong way to describe the situation that applies to you. But your attraction to older men could still have something to do with your interactions, or lack of, with the father figure in your life so far.
Some women may have always craved affection from their father, either not having one around at all, or never feeling as if they were good enough for their father’s attention.
Their feelings around their father’s disinterest or absence from their life have manifested into a preference for older men when it comes to finding a romantic partner. They may be looking for someone who can step into that father figure role they’ve been missing.
For others, it could be the complete opposite. They may have had such a close relationship with their father and looked up to them growing up, that their father became an idealized version of the man they would eventually want to be with in a relationship. This close relationship with their father has meant that they now find themselves looking for older men as potential life partners who more easily fit into that protective and authoritative role.
Having daddy issues just means that your perception of the father figure role in your life has somehow impacted what you look for in a man and changed your perspective on relationships. You’re looking for a partner who can step into that role as a protector that provides unconditional love; someone with whom you feel safe and taken care of.
If you feel as though your relationship with your father has heavily influenced your choice of partner, you may want to consider speaking to a therapist about how and why you think that is.
It’s ok to have a relationship with men in a different age group, but you want to make sure it’s for the right reasons and that you aren’t just trying to fill an emotional hole in your heart that you’ve yet to properly address.
Also, Older men know what they want.
Dating can be a puzzle of mind games and second guessing, trying to work out how a man feels about you and if they’re interested in something serious or not.
It can be exhausting trying to not come across too keen while making sure you seem interested enough. Then there’s the headache of trying to work out if they’re serious about a relationship with you or if they’re just in this dating game for a bit of fun.
You’re worried that being upfront about your desire for a serious relationship could put too much pressure on the person you’re dating. At the same time, you want to know if you’re both on the same page about where things are heading.
Trying to handle these precarious dating dilemmas can be the exact reason why some younger women are more attracted to older men. This older age group are likely to be more up front and honest about what they want and where they see your relationship going.
With a man who’s more advanced in age, he’s probably had more experience with relationships than you or other men closer to your age. An older man is more likely to know the type of partner that he’s looking for because he’s had a few more years to think about it and will know when he’s found something special in you.
An older man may be less inclined to indulge in dating mind games. He probably takes a more traditional approach to dating with less swiping and more actual chatting. He doesn’t want to waste time hiding his feelings towards you.
This confident, honest approach can be much more attractive to a younger woman who also feels as though she knows what she wants out of a relationship and is fed up with flakey men her own age.
An older man who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to tell you so might be exactly who you feel you need to sweep you off your feet and finally leave behind the uncertainties and disappointment of modern dating.
