10 Hard TRUTHS ALL Men Need to HEAR to Live a great life!
Our parents, society, and social media have all lied to us. We are not all destined for greatness. The truth is most of us will live a pretty mundane and average life. But, some will achieve something incredible. If you want to overcome average, bust your ass! Be willing to do what you need and stop blowing smoke up your ass, thinking that somebody will deliver you success by knocking on your door.
If you want anything incredible, you have to earn it. Life is not fair. But it is fair if you bust your ass and work. You will get out of life what you put into it, not just with money but also relationships. If you want deeper connections with people, you have to be willing to open yourself up and get vulnerable with them. If you ever want to achieve anything and live the best life possible, some harsh truths need to be learned. I’ll be going over some that are important but harsh.
The uncompromising facts of life you need to learn ASAP
The world is an interesting place — one full of opportunities and adventures, yet also riddled with terrible decisions, fear, doubt, and distractions that keep us from becoming the best men we can be. Sometimes it takes a hard truth to snap us out of our funk and get us back on track. These hard truths can be difficult to digest, but necessary to keep you from wearing those jeans you cut into shorts. Seriously, throw those things away.
The impetus for a hard truth is never born from malice; rather, it’s delivered to guide you back toward your goal of being the best version of yourself. If someone is spouting off hard truths at you and it feels like he’s being a dick, he probably is. If, however, he’s telling you things you don’t want to hear but you’re inspired by it, congratulations! You just received a heaping scoop of hard truth.
1. You Cannot Control Other People
It is none of your business how trees grow, how the sun rises and sets, or which way the wind blows. You’d feel pretty silly arguing with nature, right? Yet many feel completely justified telling people (both those they know, and those they don’t) what he or she should and shouldn’t do with their lives. The reality is that people and nature are going to carry on with or without your input. What purpose does it serve to spin your wheels trying to change everyone and everything around you?
The greatest thing you can do for yourself is to let go of the things you cannot change — that includes the people in your life that you wish were better or different. You can’t stand it when people try to change you, so stop tying to change others. When you get out of other people’s business, you’ll be able to focus more on your own. And really, isn’t that what you should be paying attention to in the first place?
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2. Someone Will Always Have More :
That’s right, somebody will always have more, be more, or do more than you. Get over it. There are 7 billion people on the planet. It was more than bound to happen. One of my favorite quotes is from Ralph Waldo Emerson:
“There is a time in every man’s education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better, for worse, as his portion…”
You don’t want to ever give up the man you were born to be so you can be someone else. Emerson had it right: envy is ignorance and imitation is suicide. Emulate those you find successful, but never let go of your roots. Accept that someone will always have more.
The silver lining to this hard truth is that your desires are unique in what they will bring you. For example, someone else may have more money, but you have more time to spend doing what you enjoy. Maybe that wealthy socialite you envy hates what he does for a living, or is stretched so thin for time, he envies you!
3. You Are Going to Fail
No kidding, it happens. Life is about experience and the lessons that come out of each one. You’re going to totally bomb certain activities and skills once or twice. In some things you may excel, while others you might struggle or fail miserably. Understand the key point to remember through all of this: you failed, but you are not a failure.
4. Do not compare yourself to the 1% you see on social media.
One of the biggest reasons men feel insecure and never truly feel successful is because they compare themselves to the 1%. You see the best of the best and the worst of the worst on social media. Basing your value or success on these extraordinary situations, circumstances, or people will never make you feel like you did well or accomplished anything — you didn’t live up to the arbitrarily high expectations based on extraordinary people. Life is not fair, and you better prepare yourself for that. Even if you feel entitled to something, it doesn’t mean you’ll get it. If you didn’t, ask yourself whether (a) it was fair that somebody got XYZ or (b) they were willing to do what you weren’t to get it.
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5. Respect is earned and not given.
You need it if you don’t have it, and unfortunately, you’re never going to truly live an incredible life if you don’t. Part of that equation is looking good. I know it sounds vain, but you will not have the opportunities if you don’t look good. Part of self-esteem and self-respect is putting together a package you want the world to see. Taking pride in your appearance is a must and not optional or negotiable. In the first three seconds of the meeting, an opinion is solely based on your nonverbal communication. It doesn’t matter if you’re not smart or weren’t brought up in an affluent way; if you dress well, you’ll be respected and revered. If you dress like crap, have tattoos all over your body, and are pierced everywhere, don’t get upset when people do not hire, date, or trust you. And if you look like a savage, you need to up your grooming game. You need to smell incredible too.
6. You Are the Captain of Your Own Ship
This is one of my favorites. With technology advancing exponentially these days, the tendency to rely on external resources is ever increasing… but misguided. The tools and/or people you rely on to fix your problems and make your life better are only as good as the work your put into them. Here’s a better (and more nautical) example:
The GPS on your ship is only as good as the information you provide. If you tell it to find land, but you really meant Fiji, it will simply find the closest land around. You can’t be upset when you arrive at a rock in the middle of the ocean because you didn’t provide accurate information. You have to man up and take the wheel. Make the tough decisions, plot out the course, and sail off into the horizon under your own conviction.
7. Nobody Thinks About You as Often as You Do
Or as harshly. We are our biggest, most unforgiving critics. We’re also blessed with a comically detailed memory that allows us to bring up regrets and mistakes we feel we made from years ago. When you hesitate before taking action because you worry what others might think, remember it won’t make a lick of difference to them by the following week — maybe even the following day! We all make up stories about how we think other people see us.
If you really want to see how critical you are of yourself, write down the names of some of your friends and coworkers and how you think they view you on one sheet of paper. On a second sheet, write those same names, but actually ask them how they see you. Compare those answers and see just how judgmental you are to yourself. I’m willing to bet you’re tougher on you than you expected.
Most people don’t care about you. We spend so much time worrying about what other people think and what they’ll say. The truth is they’re too preoccupied with their own life, doing their own stuff. They’re not worried about you. They’re not looking at you, and they’re not concerned with your workout at the gym.
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8. Your Life is a One-Day-at-a-Time Endeavor
This is a hard truth because we all seem to plan, plan, plan for the future and worry, worry, worry about the past. You cannot do anything about the opportunity you feel you missed 10 years ago. Let it go. Likewise, planning obsessively for the future is equally as paralyzing. You have today to make choices and experience those triumphs, mistakes, successes, and failures. You can reflect on the past to extract a lesson or two, but regretting and worrying is a heinous waste of your time and potential. If you plan to have one amazing day at a time, you’ll get much more out of life.
9. Stop obsessing about women.
The manosphere is not a good thing. It’s wrong. Women are not the problem; men are not the problem. Men are not toxic, and women are not bitches or evil. Women want to be with a man that takes control and doesn’t allow life to bend them over. Do not allow life to give you the business because you’ll get sloppy seconds.
10. You Will Have to Fire Certain People in Your Life
Think about your close circle of friends for a moment. Are they the same as they were when you were just turning old enough to drink? Probably not. As you go about your life, discovering and learning about what you really want, you’ll take some risks and have some big ideas. There will always be someone that will take the wind from your sails and make you feel like your idea is stupid or worthless. If that person is in your circle, you need to fire him or her. The only way create any form of sustainable, fulfilling success is to cut out the negative voices around you. There’s a time and place for critical thinking and shooting down ideas, but I’m not talking about that. I’m referring to your circle of friends or family and how they aren’t doing you any favors by constantly dumping on everything you create. Fire those that don’t share the same vision, and hire those that do. You can still be friends, but he or she is no longer privy to the big ideas and adventures anymore.
